Cities and people

I think I travel more through the airport than any place else.
But now people remind me of cities, and maybe it was just a matter of time I realised.

Some people are like that breath of fresh air, that you only experience whilst walking on the beach, and each time you meet them it’s like a dip in the ocean, so refreshing that you absolutely needed it.

Some have a mysterious charisma around them, almost like how fog surrounds a mountain, but there is a certain comfort, almost motherly when you are around them.

Some laid back, almost like the backwater of Kerala or perhaps a million melodies at once, but soothing and calm.

Some are so fueled by passion, that it almost consumes, with their shining eyes and big dreams, but always hopeful, almost like Mumbai personified.

Some have an air of importance around them, their ways so different from the rest that it’s almost drawing. Their beauty is almost unreal and unfathomable.

Some with their eyes wide, neck deep in work but with an amount of ease, it’s like the city that never sleeps but is close to your heart.

Some are so fast paced, their entire walk of life fascinates you, the determination so infectious that you are left awe struck.

Some just take you back in time, through cobbled streets and haphazard but such a spiritual, solid foundation.

Some are happiness personified, much like the monks in Bhutan, with hearts of gold and smiles that will melt your heart.

Some are so logical and practical, but a serene wild side, this is truly the amalgamation of beauty and brains, in each of those museums and labs you ever visited, or perhaps the sight of a wonder of science located amongst serenity.
Some heavily covered with all the atrocities and harshness of nature, much like life but emerging so hopeful, that it’s inspiring.

And I look outside my window, and see the skyline.
In some people you find the city you grew up in, and at best your home.

Dear Moose (from the Sky is Pink)

You are superwoman.
You are everything, it’s like the very universe lives in your very soul. It started off as your love story, and I don’t think anyone could’ve portrayed relationships better.
Maybe being in love, didn’t necessarily mean being sickly sweet, or being together at all times or never disagreeing,it just meant growing together, through the tough times, and pushing through. It is more inspiring each other to do better, whilst never forgetting why you got together in the first place. A place where you can completely be yourself, speak your mind and just love and feel loved so purely and wholly. I think panda was perfect for you, and you for him (even though you almost strangled him). You say that being a mother comes first to you, more than anything else in the world, but you weren’t just that, you were a teacher, a best friend and even a doctor, you taught us that if we put our mind to anything, we can do it, and maybe that never give up attitude is what we need.

I think we all need to take a step back and see how to live life, not in timelines but memories, where we make memories so profound that at the end of the day, all we need is to go back to our happy place, a few memories that are so unforgettable that we’re transported to that experience immediately.

They say, death isn’t easy, it’s one of those things that so many fear. As buddha said, the trouble is we think we have time, you really made sure every moment was worth living didn’t you?
It’s unfathomable, what you did, not all of us are blessed with that strength. Maybe it’s the best way for us to go, surrounded by all the people we love, and holding on till the very last breath

Dear Astrophile

When Carl Sagan first said that astronomy is a humbling subject, and that pale blue dot is nothing but a speck of dust suspended in sunbeam, something’s felt a little insignificant, but why is it that your loss feels so personal.

I want to take a moment to celebrate your life. You were so full of life, I couldn’t help but admire your passion towards the moon, and each example you drew from the universe you hid some secrets about life. How despite having so many phases the moon shows up each night.

They say you liked Quantum physics, and I can’t help but wonder, you too,wanted answers to the most fundamental yet puzzling questions. I’m sure you thought of superposition, and I think I solved how you could be in two places at once, one where you broke down reality and the other where you were the universe experiencing itself.

I know nothing with absolute certainty, but we’re just a 0.7 on the Kardashev scale, did the Drake’s equation compel you to think more? Or were you as lost with the Fermi paradox.Maybe not knowing enough is what excited you the most.

I never knew you personally but I can see how fondly you loved the stars, but tell me how did the universe bottle so much wonder into your soul. Wherever you are in this multiverse I’m sure you’re having conversations about Galileo, about life and philosophy. How we can intertwine philosophy,science and religion.

How can I forget, you were a dancer too, everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances.

~ with love from a physics nerd

Dear girl in the yellow umbrella

Hi.

I think we’ve all waited a long time to see you. But I’d be wrong if I didn’t say that all your mannerisms were reflected so vividly. I’m sure most of us lose hope of ‘The One’ or have already lost hope of it, but you, you really instilled our faith in it.

You taught so many life lessons along the way, but most importantly time can’t define a relationship, you might meet the one while you’re a kid, or at school or college, maybe at office, bump into them at a concert or just maybe when you’re about to give up all hope and start a new life somewhere else, you bump into all those almosts you never had.

Maybe life is just a series of near misses, but you’ll always get through if you take that leap. I think love in it’s simplest sense seems so pure that it’s unfathomable to an extent when someone walks in and you see it’s been there all along.

It’s life you never know where you might end up, and yes you can’t design it, maybe clinging to the past isn’t the best idea, maybe you trying to search for one thing makes you discover another.That some people come with expiration date, that nothing good happens after 2 AM, that you can step out one fine day, and your life can change forever, that somewhere out there, there is a yellow umbrella for everyone.

Most importantly, when you meet the right person, you know it, you can’t stop thinking about them, they are your best friend and your soulmate. You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare.

Yes, it’s true we wear our heart’s on our sleeves, but do you know this gives us the power to notice those small antics about you. You think you’re tip toeing around us, but what you fail to notice is that amidst the small things that we take with us from each conversation, we remember those small irrelevant details, that are so important to you. You see it’s been so long and we’ve felt so deeply about every emotion that we’ve almost mastered the way on how to deal with them.

We’ve been told for far too long that we’re weak, so we carry all these vulnerabilities and insecurities, and build ourselves back up, we’ve mastered that acceptance is the key. We listen, and you’re not used to that, because for far too long we’ve become synonymous with the weak, you’d be surprised when you find out how alive each moment makes us feel.

You see so many times we’ve been shunned by society and given lessons on how and what to feel, we know exactly what to say when you’re feeling low.

And I don’t think we mind that at all, for we’ve found love and bliss in the litle things in life, and embracing anything that let’s us dream.

You see we live in passionate extremes.

As Frida Kahlo said, ” I used to think I was the strangest person in the world,but then I thought there are so many people in the world,there must be someone just like me who feels bizzare and flawed in the same ways I do”.

For years I thought about time travel, I watched and rewatched Back to the future, Interstellar, The Time travellers wife. You see when they transported particles I got a little too excited, and I wanted to time travel, the non conventional way of course which didn’t involve zooming off in a rocket or a flight around the world, and yes it proved the postulates of relativity.

But

There was another kind of time travel, relatively of course, but it could transport us to certain moments that might only be possible through time travel. While travelling the other day I heard my mother’s favourite song on the radio, and yes it’s typical to turn to the side watching the rain, but I remembered you dancing instead. Disco has now become synonymous to the hostel at 1 AM. I walked past a ground during Navratri and remembered learning Garba. You see, I listen to music all the time and I can’t help but choreograph, that tall stranger who I thought of while listening to perfect is now beginning to take shape. Weird thing about music you see, with each beat I’m transported to a memory, some good and some bad, but memorable nonetheless. Some days when I miss them most, I listen to those songs and I’m instantly transported to the memory, the annual day in school or those numerous independance day practices. When I listen to Timber now, I picture a panda and a girl. Food isn’t the same without that song my mother hums while cooking, and break ups without Taylor Swift. I think completing and singing lyrics is a habit now, and maybe a poetic way of telling each other we’d be there. I’ve lived Era’s you see, through the 80’s, and the early 2000’s. A romance through eyes, or running through fields, and somewhere between staring out the window thinking about it, kuch din, when our eyes met, it was all those songs at once.

I still hope for a time machine sometimes, but till then I’ve got music.

Dear Amu (from Thappad)

First off, how did you do it.
How did you give up everything you loved to be a part of someone else’s life and you selflessly found joy in that.
No no don’t me get me wrong, I know you were in love, and you found that perfect blue door, par blue was never your favourite colour na?

Why does it take something extreme, to show us what we’ve truly be missing?
A line of yours really struck me, ” Agar rishte jod kar rakhne pade, matlab wo toote hai na”
You left me in awe, when you said, how many relationships have we held onto, that broke us from within.

It was that moment that too, where everything I had been ignoring was right in front of me, crystal clear.

You see I had this warped idea of romance, and bollywood only fuelled it, I guess it’s safe to say, I needed you to teach me how to unlove.

~ Someone who finds joy in dancing too

Dear Jug (from Dear Zindagi)

Can I have a glass of water from the jug, Jug?

Pardon my bad humour, but there have been days where we’ve hid behind humour and put on a smile, even when we were lost.

First off all, thank you for being my therapist, for making me feel completely normal about not having it together at all times absolutely perfectly, thank you for normalising flaws, and urging me to choose the easy path. That inspite of trying to solve everyone’s, it was okay for me to have problems too.

On the days  I’m exhausted and I need to listen, I watch the movie again and again, and maybe find a little bit of Kaira in me, that it’s only human to be irritable at times. The society has painted such walls around us, but you taught me that’s it’s only healthy to fight and get angry at times, I’ve stopped putting people on the pedestal and I breathe easy now.

I know there are some things from my childhood that weren’t fair at all, and I’ve lived all my life hoping that one day it’ll all fall back in place, thank you for making it easier for me to forgive people.

I’ve started sharing more, and I’ve stopped running from relationships. Being the control freak I am, I try and take it a little easy. I’ve started appreciating my inner circle, and the past, well it’s in the past.

You see, you didn’t give me a magic potion or a remedy, you told me all broken things can be mended and that if I can’t cry easily,how will I ever laugh as loudly.

Most importantly, I accept myself now, wear my sensitivity with pride, being sensitive also means being empathic and holding onto the smallest things that can make one happy. I still overthink, but I over love as well, and I don’t regret anything.

~ thank you for being my teacher in the school of life.

Dear Neerja Bhanot,

“Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahi”, Babumoshai, you were a Rajesh Khanna fan, and you were a combination of Anand and Bawarchi, when you walked into a room, it’s like it lit up.

I wish I could meet you, so you could teach me to be as fearless and selfless. I’ve gone through old pictures and ads, you’re beautiful not only on the outside but inside too, I started relating to you when I heard your mother call you laddo, mine does too and stopped when I saw how brave and fearless you were, you were brave enough to save the lives of those children and most other passengers on board when you were not more than 22  yourself, I promise you, you didn’t die in vain, you inspired a whole generation, the impact you make on people’s lives is so deeply rooted with the kind words.

You also faced mental and physical abuse, tell me please how didn’t you grow bitter, you still moved on with a smile and those eyes, gleaming with joy.
What happened was so unfair, and so cruel and it enrages me, but how did you remain calm with a gun pointed at your head, I wish you could teach us your ways.

I know alot of people who’ve cried watching this movie, and I can almost hear you say, “Pushpa, I hate tears”. I hope you like the yellow, it’s what you wanted on your birthday.

~someone who looks up to you, and the sky just like you did

I entered a room, with yellow walls and a brown floor and for the first time in a very long time, I knew this is where I wanted to be.
I’ve had some of my best memories laughing with you and some of the worst, when I almost had to give up on you.
You see, you were my first love, the one I dressed up for (Remember this is a time I  didn’t even know how to wear kajal), so yes maybe I did a little extra for you, but what you did for me, you, you changed my life you see.
You’re with me every moment of the day,no not your embodiment but in my steps and stride, the way I talk or swing my hands.
I’ve never had my heart racing at ten million miles and the excitement in my voice and tears in my eyes and a huge smile on my face, you made me believe I could be beautiful even with that gap I’m so conscious about.
Did I ever tell you the number of friends I’ve made because of you, or how no matter how many people I fall in love with, there’s something special about you, it’s something only you have.
To be fair, I’d be lying if I didn’t say you are my longest commitment and I hope to keep it that way.
There’s just something about you, I just can’t keep still, you draw me towards you.
And I know in my heart and bones if I ever had to give it would be through you.
I’d be wrong if I say you never hurt me, but for you a thousand times over.
~ A Dancer